Just as in the real world the people in Sharoban fall in love, marry and have children. For many of them this is their overriding concern, whether because of love, business or the desire to achieve some sort of legacy. There are political and dynastic matches, marriages for love and money, and even revenge. Relationships grow cold, stay warm against all odds, and end in disaster. Some even end in murder or divorce. Some never really start, leaving both partners lost in a world that seems to be set against them.
The beginning of a relationship very much depends on who you are. It is likely that parents, guardians and masters will be involved in the process at the very beginning and most matches are set in motion by older people. A pair of rich merchants might arrange for their children to wed in order to consolidate their fortunes or a guild master might introduce a star apprentice to the right person for the specific reason of creating a match. It is in their interest to do so as it encourages loyalty from their proteges and helps them along with their lives; within a large part of the city there is an ethos that leaving people behind is amoral and so it is the duty of people with more luck, wealth and power to help those less fortunate than themselves. Even within the lower classes this practice holds true and it is hardly uncommon for a young man to come home to find his parents waiting for him with some important news about his future; and his bride. Most matches are made about the age of fifteen, and signals the start of a slow courtship that lasts many years.
What follows is usually a series of chaperoned meetings initially at the families' homes, later in public places. Before these public dates occur there is some expectation of commitment on both sides. Commonly this takes the form of gift giving, usually something that can be worn or carried and ideally something made by the lovers for each other. Scarves are popular as are hats and pieces of jewellery and small knives. After this, the match is presumed to be official and on its way to marriage.
Amongst older people who are unmarried (who are often considered to be ne'er-do-wells, on account of their lack of attachments), the road to marriage is less controlled but more chaotic. Men are expected to take the lead here, pitching their suit to women they like. Women do sometimes make the first move, but it's rare enough to be commented on. Again the couple are expected to exchange gifts before their match is considered official; they are also expected to have a short engagement and if more than six months passes between betrothal and marriage the relationship is considered a dead duck.
Weddings take place in the temple, and group weddings are not uncommon if there are a lot of ceremonies that coincide. There is no official colour to get married, for either sex, but everyone will wear their best clothes. Both brides and grooms wear garlands of flowers and silver bracelets to signify the day. They enter the temple together and stand before the priests with their parents close by. From there oaths are exchanged and, in a throwback to an old tradition, bread and salt are given as gifts. Songs are sung and blessings given. Traditionally these are centred on fertility and prosperity rather than happiness. The newlyweds usually move into the bride's home, living with her family until they can afford a home of their own.
Many couples, especially amongst the poor never officially get married. Instead, they simply move into together and go from there. There is no stigma in this though the priests of Merida will offer a blessing if the couple decides they want to legitimise the relationship. Official marriage is not considered seemly in these circumstances and particularly if there are children (though none of the priests can really point to a specific prohibition on this).
Except in specific cases married couples are expected to have children, and quickly. The usual pattern is that the first child will be born within the first two years of the marriage to much celebration. Street parties to welcome a newborn, especially if the child is couples firstborn, aren't uncommon, as the family splash out to celebrate their good fortune. It doesn't matter if the child is male or female, every new life is considered special and celebrated as such. Children are born in the marriage bed and for the last few months of any pregnancy this is the wife's bed. The husband will find somewhere else to sleep and must wait to be invited back in postpartum. Some unfortunate husbands never return to the marriage bed, much to their chagrin.
Children are named within the first six months of life at a ceremony where they are presented with a cup of wine and a loaf of bread to symbolise their needs. Often they will be given gifts, most of which will be useless to them for the first few years of life, but which they will grow into. These are often connected with a trade or profession. They will stay with their mother or grandparents for the first seven years of life, when their official education begins. After this, most children only see their families at high days and when their masters or teachers release them. This is a situation which will continue until they are fully grown and ready to begin families of their own.
Next week we consider the end of life, old age, death and funerals.
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